Thursday, May 3, 2012

Why [Ballroom] Dancers Can't Date Non-Dancers

"Hey, honey - just a heads-up...

For the next year-or-so, I'm going to spend the bulk of my free time, not to mention disposable income, not on you, but on activities with this other girl. We'll probably be spending an average of 2-3 hours a day hip-to-hip, or at least in close proximity. Also, she makes it her everyday goal to appear more attractive than those around her, and I will dress to match. I'll be spending more time doing my favorite pastime with her, making all kinds of memories, than doing anything with you.

Ah, yes. Memories. We have goals that we would like to achieve this year. By the way, part of obtaining that goal is traveling. About once a month, we're going to travel to another city together, share a hotel room, and then spend the weekend convincing a bunch of people that she and I are madly and passionately in love. Also, I'll be more dressed up on these little excursions with her than I ever will be for one of our dates.

If she and I do well, people will recognize her and I all over the country, and we'll always be mentioned in the same breath. Oh, but you can sit at home and watch us on Youtube.

That cool with you?"

 - (Also, if my girlfriend doesn't dance, there go about 90% of my date ideas)