Dear Collegiate Club Organizer

Dear Collegiate Club-or-Team Organizer/Captain/President:

Your job is not to produce great dancers.

Your goal is not to have the best dance club/team in the country.

You are not running a dance academy.

These people are not here because their parents paid a large sum of money with the intent of one day producing the best-of-the-best.

Most of these people are well-educated adults that know how to seek additional information. They do not need the hand-holding or direction that youth dancers are coddled with.

For that matter, they don't need an ambitious curriculum forced down their throat. Many of them are seeking release from being told what to do, and are instead asking what to do.

Your job is this:

To create an environment where people can fall in love with Ballroom Dancing, and give them the resources to explore that love to their hearts' content.

You'll have higher retention, happier dancers, and believe it or not, more skilled dancers that decide to take their dance education into their own hands in order to excel. Focus on recruiting and giving people direction to getting more information. Allow and encourage people to get as good as they'd like at the pace they'd like. It's a club, not a certification program. You'll get people with many different goals:

• You wanna be the best? Join the group that meets twice a week, here are the available practice spaces, and here is the list of coaches in the area, especially the ones that work with the team.
• You wanna improve rapidly? Let's hook you up with a team mentor, and here are a few well-respected amateurs in the area that said they'd help out.
• You wanna just have fun and come to the parties? We have a general lesson once per week and a social every Sunday, and a couple of team parties every semester.

All of these people are important to the organization and to the ballroom community. Don't tell anyone what sort of person they need to be to enjoy the sport. Just give them the tools and opportunity to excel, then get out of the way, and above all, make everyone feel welcome to the ballroom family.

You might accidentally enjoy the community yourself :)

The Art of Following

This should be a quick rant.

FOLLOWING is an ART, NOT some INHERENT TALENT.

FOLLOWING takes practice.

FOLLOWING takes instruction.

FOLLOWING takes real skill. Real intention. Real work.

There are 2 things I keep seeing that bug me enough to prompt this post.

1. "I Can Follow"

I'm at a social. 

"Would you like to dance?" she says.
"Do you dance waltz?" I say.
"I can follow," she says.

No.

No, no, no.

[First of all, if you don't know the dance, why did you ask me in the first place?]

"Do you dance waltz?" is not my way of asking, "Are you cool if I drag you in a circle for 3 minutes?" It's my way of asking if you've spent any time on the matter.

It's like I'm about to hand you a guitar around a campfire. If you even know 4 chords, you can still play quite a bit of decent music. Or you can play Tango en Ski on a steel string. But if you've literally never picked one up, even if you rock at piano, you're probably just going to hurt my ears. The point is, I can enjoy a whole waltz of just natural and reverse turns. But I'd like my partner to know the basic footwork and frame. Otherwise I'm in for a night of shoulder pain.

IF YOU are the follow that says, "I can follow," without any prior training, please take note

By saying, "I can follow" when regarding a style in which you have no training or experience, you insult literally half of the population of that dance community that spends their resources (time, energy, money) on learning how to follow.

Next time, just say, "Oh, not really." That gives me the opportunity to say, "Ok, can I come find you for the next Swing?" or something.

2. "Let's go from the..."

Alright, time for me to rip into the leads. During my recent partner search, I noticed a recurring phenomenon, which I am certain is not unique to Ballroom/Standard (which is my primary style).

I noticed that quite a few of the ladies I practiced with were leaving their previous partners for being controlling. Overbearing. Nearly even bullying at times. Belittling. Blah, blah, blah, long story short, when dudes got good, they often turned into jerks. And I couldn't figure out why.

Until we started practicing. During these "tryouts", we would both show each other our choreography or make something up so we had something to practice. I noticed a theme - often the ladies tended to not know the names of some of the more difficult steps. Or could not dance them on their own in the order we had already determined. Or be able to pick it up from a specific step once we had danced the routine once or twice.

"Let's take it from the [open level step]."
"From the...where?"

Here I was dancing with partners way out of my league, and they couldn't name steps or start/stop anywhere in a relatively simple choreography. And that's when I realized why leads get this idea that they know everything.

FOLLOWING is HARD. It takes CONCENTRATION. For followers, there's a lot more going on internally and a lot less time for decision making. So, when a follow is having to catch your lead, then respond tenfold with a internal reaction, all while knowing that you could change your mind, something's gotta give. 

So you balance each other out. The follow worries about the stretch and the reaction, while YOU worry about the floorcraft and the routine. And it's our own fault that we need a layer of abstraction called "Names" for these steps. We are responsible for keeping the couple moving, so we need to constantly be flipping through our mental index of figures to make sure we know what steps can come next, how far certain steps take us, etc. On top of that, we need to constantly inform the follow of what's on our mind (which, by the way, is different from making them do something). The follow's responsibility is to make it look good and cover your mistakes and do everything possible to not disturb you and your balance.

They don't have to care about what step comes next, because chances are you're just going to change it on them anyway. Their job is to be ready for when you make that change and make it look like you both knew it was coming. So they have one heck of a tough job, and just because you know the choreography better, don't think you can do their job better than they can. Respect the work they've put into making you look good. Odds are, half the time you feel like hot stuff it's because a follow is doing their job well.

Epilogue:

Following is an art. Lead-and-Follow is not a Master-Servant relationship. When two people are on vacation, it doesn't mean the person driving the car is "vacationing better". And following takes practice. There's no award for the partner that can hold onto their partner the tightest. Some people put a lot of work into making themselves a "ghost in a skirt" so they don't get drug around.

Follows - what's your take?

Oops. That rant wasn't quick at all.

Footnote on gender: I tried to keep the pronouns androgynous/gender neutral, except when using my own personal stories. In international ballroom, the culture and history is still very gender-oriented, which doesn't seem to be changing any time soon. The technique books even use gender-specific language. Instead, there are now separate events for same-sex couples. I know this isn't the case in many dance cultures, so I tried to de-genderify the post.

Where's my Confidence?

TL:DR; highlighted portions = tips.

So, I'm not the most confident person in the world.

Just kidding, here's a photo of me breathing fire:

No, really that's me. Check it out.

So, restart, rephrase - I, like everyone else, have a comfort zone. One which I strive to expand by venturing out of. While I don't encourage everyone to lose a few eyebrows in the way I did, I do encourage my friends to do things that may make them a little socially uncomfortable.

Now, there are different kinds of socially uncomfortable. There's the, "Hmm, that girl is really cute, but I don't know how to approach her" uncomfortable and then there's the "I wish this creep would stop hitting on me" uncomfortable (and ironically, the latter situation would probably occur a lot less if more decent guys would get over the former and introduce themselves). Today, I'm mostly going to be talking about the former - the social anxiety that "maybe I don't belong here?"

What's this got to do with dancing? Well, many guys that start ballroom dancing as a means of getting out of their comfort zone (those that were drug to their first lesson by their significant other notwithstanding). It's a great place to meet people and it's a skill you'll have your whole life. And while plenty of people meet someone special in the course of their dancing, I hear a certain phrase uttered very often regarding the "benefits of ballroom":

 "Builds confidence."

And sure, why not? Learning something new is tough, and the accomplishment is enough to make anyone feel good. Show off a little at weddings. Have some newcomers ask you for help. Hit on that cute Silver dancer at the social. Post some fancy facebook photos to awe your lab partners.

Maybe, for some people, ballroom has no negative psychological side-effects whatsoever. Well, I may be an exception to this, because quite frankly, ballroom makes me second-guess myself all the time now.

I suppose this is a good time to mention that these are just some "side-effects" I've experienced lately. I've been competing seriously for about 2 years now, and was dancing a bit more casually for a few years prior to that. And lately, I've noticed some things creeping into my psyche that weren't much around before.

What do I do at ballroom social dances?

This one gets me all the time. The last social dance studio I "belonged" didn't double as a "competitive" studio, but luckily the owner was really cool. He liked the idea of competitive dancers around, so he gave us a pretty sweet deal on practice space (occasionally, we'd teach a social dance class in return). But I had trouble sticking around for the socials. Not because I felt that I was "too good", but because I had a hard time dialing-down the technique. I wasn't having fun sometimes. Ok, a lot of times. And I get really uncomfortable at these events.

That's an important distinction, mind you - the "I'm too good for these people" versus "Man, I wish I could go full-speed". I don't mind dancing with newcomers - I have a lot of fun dancing with someone just starting their ballroom journey, particularly when they're excited and in a good mood. But I've put a lot of time into my dancing, and sometimes, I like to cut it loose. It's hard to go from "Fallaway reverse slip-pivot, Overspin, Tumble-turn, Throwaway" to nothing but box steps off-time for 3 hours straight.

As my dear friend Kevin, who is a top-notch, studio-quality drummer, put it - "You know, I like playing the drums. But if I were stuck in a band with nothing but fourth graders who are just picking up their instruments, I might have a hard time keeping sane." Don't take away that I would call newcomers or strictly-social dancers "fourth graders" - take away that when I sit behind the drums, I still like a challenge now and then. And possibly my favorite beats are a little too complex for this band.

Perhaps not the worst fate

What do I do at social dances of other styles?

I like to swing dance. I like to salsa dance. I like to blues dance. And on rare occasions, often involving hard liquor, I like to break/club/whatever happens dance at a nightclub.

But man, does it terrify me.

Yep. Even as a prominent member of the world's largest swing dance group for years, I still get pretty self-conscious while there. Oh, not when I'm in a pocket of high schoolers that can't stay on-time and there's a camera nearby. It's when I get close to the people that can actually lindy.

Never mind placing at a bunch of local salsa events judged by amateurs that fall for stupid dips and poor technique in the name of flare. I saw the coaches watching and shaking their heads.

Sure, the cute new girl at blues is blushing when she sees I'm looking at her while dancing. But it's the other cute girl that also happens to do this 3 nights a week who I'm worried about.

Ironically, the opposite of the previous fear is no better. I have tasted "glory". Having been "the best" at a few events, knowing what it's like to "really understand" something. It's hard to go back. And more importantly, you know that with every step at a salsa event, you do nothing more than prove your ignorance. Every time I put Latin styling in my Lindy, I know I'm disrespecting the culture of the group that has welcomed me into their social. I actually used to have a lot more fun and confidence at these things before I became intrinsically familiar with a single style, but those days are gone now that I know how deep any one rabbit hole can go. And it's nerve-racking to know that you don't know what you don't know.

In my defense, some people make this one worse. Nothing pisses me off more than this one - 

"Do you swing dance a lot?"
"No, I normally ballroom dance."
"Yeah, I could tell."

SOCIAL DANCERS: Unless the next phrase you utter is:
 - "You have great posture"
 - "Your leads are so clear"
 - "Your timing is spot-on", 
then PISS OFF, ELITIST SNOB. The dude/lady just admitted that they were out of their comfort zone - don't frickin' alienate them. That's rude.

(Ballroom dancers, if you recognize someone has ballet training, you can go with:

• You turn so smoothly
• You spot so well
• You have great posture,

but not "I can tell") 

What do I do at weddings?

Wedding receptions have lately been a source of stress for me. There are 2 names on the invitation, and if neither of them are mine, it ain't my day. That being said, I do know how to dance. And I'm stuck in a room with a dance floor and 2-4 hours of music and a lot of pretty girls. Guess what's gonna happen?

This one kills me. I REALLY want to lay low at these things, but I also want to have fun. I happen to have a rather "silly" set of dance moves when I'm having fun. But then, the criticism comes out. This one shows up at social dances too, but you more likely find it at these not-just-a-dance gatherings. The truly devious self-esteem killer that hurts the most when I'm just being me.

"Show-off."

First and foremost, Thumper said it best:

...so SHUT IT DRUNK COUSIN OF THE BRIDE WHO IS IGNORING HIS GIRLFRIEND (too specific?).

Secondly, you're wrong. I like dancing to my fullest potential. It's fun. The more difficult moves are more fun to pull off. And I'm not trying to show off. I'm just dancing, and it so happens that you are impressed and intimidated.

Finally, what if I am? So what? I spend thousands of dollars a year and countless hours and copious amounts of energy to achieve the ability to SHOW OFF. If you could dunk a basketball from the free-throw line, and we were hanging out one day by a court, you'd PROBABLY WANT TO SHOW THAT YOU CAN. And I, for one, would clap.

For the record - what I do at weddings: Try to dance off to the side, stick to moves that aren't terribly flashy, minimize styling (No "pro-grade" New Yorks!), avoid progressive (travelling) dances, and smile/say thank you when people comment. But at open-bar weddings, the story might be SLIGHTLY different.

Am I even getting anywhere?

Sounds kinda nihilistic, especially after going from Bronze to Champ Semifinalist in 2 years. But when I won Novice, I lost in Prechamp. And when I made Champ finals, I knew there were people missing. And even when I see the score sheet that says "Top 12" for USA Dance nationals, I know there are another 12 couples not on that list because they were too busy competing internationally to be bothered with US Nationals.

Wise Words

I hardly ever think, "Dang, I'm so good" (I find I tend to get a big slice of humble pie shortly after that thought). Instead, I think, "how much better can I get by [x]?" Not to say I'm not proud to show off my videos to family and coworkers. But yeah, I am humbled anytime I see my coach or walk into Manhattan Ballroom, because IT'S BEEN DONE. Can it be extraordinary if there's a room full of people who can do it better? I tell myself, "yeah, it's still impressive, right?" - but that doesn't mean I'm impressed. And I'm not sure that's a bad mentality - it certainly keeps me driven - but I do know that it's NOT confidence.

So what?

Where does this leave me? Well, nowhere in particular. I could try to "win" by becoming the best at all things. I could give up and go home. Or I could still go out salsa dancing, ask a girl that's way better to dance with me, and enjoy myself after realizing that it wasn't so hard. I've dug so much out of certain veins of my comfort zone that it became constricted in others. So, I'll continue becoming better at something I love, and understand that wherever there are people, I'll have to still take risks in order to enjoy myself.

Is this being a bit too candid? Possibly. But hey, that's just another step out of my comfort zone.

Ballroom Propaganda

Hey :) just some minimalist stuff I put together while waiting to go to a social tonight.

All meant in good fun, of course.

Thinkin' I might do a smooth one too.

10 Graphs about Ballroom Lifestyle

So, I do a lot of Data Visualization at work. And I do a lot of ballroom dancing when I'm not at work. Actually, I dance at work too, but typically when I'm on a conference call and am not required to sit still.

Anyway, here are a few graphs that popped into my head about the Dancer Lifestyle. Enjoy!

The Stigma of the Collegiate Dancer

WARNING: There may be a little bit of ranting going on

"Dude, what's up with these marks?"

To all of my friends who started ballroom dancing competitively in college (or immediately thereafter), we've all felt that anger. The frustration that a couple of judges marked us first, but one mark was so low that it cost us a place. That the judges in one level put us above a certain couple, but the judges for another level decided differently.

Believe me, I've been there. In my last competition, 3 judges had us taking first. However, despite 3 first-place marks in the Tango, we took 5th in the dance, and fifth overall.

I was frustrated for a week or two, but I got over it. And this blog post is dedicated to the realization that made me shrug it off.

The majority of the other competitors in the competition were collegiate-dancers-gone-amateur. By "collegiate," I mean they started their ballroom journeys sometime after the age of 18 (I'm sure "collegiate" is a bit of a misnomer, but deal with it). I realize we all share a trait that I call "The Stigma of the Collegiate Dancer."

One couple that out-placed us had better connection than myself and my partner, but we clearly had them on stride and topline. Another couple had great stretch in their lines and complex choreography, but at the expense of clean footwork and musicality.

So, what happens? Apparently, we had three "stride-and-topline" judges, and the rest were not. Or our clean topline was not as clean as the stretchiness of the other couple's stretch. At first, my reaction was to feel victimized by the draw, but now that I look back on it, I say, 

"Yup."

Let's play "Spot the Broken Line"

The stigma is this - you do some things great, and others, not so much. And that sticks out like a sore thumb. You probably got where you are due to a couple of great tricks, but now you're running up against competitors with equal-yet-different tricks. And yeah, your marks are now subject to the luck of the draw. Whose trick do the judges like?

So why do I say this is the collegiate dancer? Simply, because I don't feel this happens much in the youth crowd. At least not to the glaring extent of collegiate dancers. And why is that? Because, if at any point in time in the 10 years of your youth dancing, your coach looks at you and thinks, "nice stride and topline, but not stretchy enough," guess what you spend the next few months practicing? Having a longer journey from scratch with hands held along the way, you are less likely to develop prominently impressive characteristics or distractingly offensive habits.

Take myself and my personal favorite dancer, Mirko Gozzoli, for example. You put him and me on the same dance floor, there's no "Oh, look at his topline", "Oh, his stretch is a little better", "Nice musicality" - you see a holistically better performance from the former WDC world champion (currently top of WDSF), with no concessions to myself (save that my name is easier to pronounce). While perhaps not on the same order of magnitude, I feel this is what happens when judges see two youth couples. They've been coached away from bad habits and developed the good habits at a fairly distributed rate. One will likely paint an overall better picture, subject to very few matters of "taste".

So, how to defeat the symptoms of being a collegiate dancer? Not that I'm an authoritative source, but if you saw me dancing Bronze versus Champ, you'd see a number of habits that have disappeared. Though there are many forms this can take, I'm pretty sure it comes down to this: Get more information, then act on it. This of course applies to any skill. In our world, this takes the form of lessons and practice. I personally like taking regular private lessons from multiple coaches (I have one that's big on clean footwork and timing, and another that's keen on connection and internal adjustments), but some prefer a single coach. Others will take lessons few and far between from judges that see them dance regularly.

Whatever approach, you need to make sure you understand that there is always something you can do better. In order to progress in your skill (and by extension, your marks), you need to not blame the judges or other couples and instead invest the time, energy, and other resources ($) to improve yourself.

I hear tell that there comes a point where politics play a big - if not the biggest - factor in one's placement. Oh that I were only skilled enough to worry that others' reputations were dependent upon my results. But until I am SO good in my basics that I need worry about judges' preferences, I have little to complain about other than the lack of time I can invest in getting better. And even that's just a lame excuse. If it's worth complaining about, then it's worth prioritizing.

Ultimately, it comes down to this:

At any given moment, you are exactly as good as you are. If you don't like your results, then get better.

Am I way off in my understanding of the youth dancer experience, either from the dancer or judge opinion? Can anybody shed some light either way? I'd love to hear from you. Comments or CloudCray@gmail.com

Ballroom and Disney

  Yeah, we all grew up with Disney. So, if you're looking for an a few fan-serves at your next social (or perhaps a theme for a party), here you go - a list of ballroom songs by Disney!

 Feel free to comment with any additional suggestions

Monsters, Inc - Theme Song - Quickstep

Little Mermaid - Under the Sea - Mambo/Salsa

Little Mermaid - Kiss the Girl - Am Rumba

Emperor's New Groove - Run Llama Run - Quickstep

Aladdin - Arabian Nights - Tango

Aladdin - Come to the Supermarket (Stage Show) - Quickstep

Aladdin - Friend Like Me - Quickstep/Samba

Aladdin - Prince Ali - Quickstep/Samba

Aladdin - Whole New World - Rumba

Aladdin - One Jump - Quickstep

Mulan - I'll Make a Man Out of You - Paso Doble

Toy Story - You've Got a Friend in Me - Foxtrot

Toy Story 3 - You've Got a Friend in Me - Paso Doble

Oliver and Company - Why Should I Worry - Jive

Mickey Mouse Club - Theme Song - Tango

Sleeping Beauty - Once Upon a Dream - V Waltz

Lion King - Just Can't Wait to be King - Quickstep/Samba

Lion King - Hakuna Matata - Quickstep

Lion King - Can You Feel The Love Tonight - Rumba

Tarzan - Strangers Like Me - Rumba

Tarzan - You'll Be In My Hear - Rumba

Tarzan - Trashin the Camp - East Coast Swing

101 Dalmatians - Cruella DeVille - Foxtrot

Mary Poppins - Chim Chimney - V Waltz

Duck Tales - Theme - Jive

Tail Spin - Theme - Samba

Beauty and the Beast - Gaston - V Waltz

Beauty and the Beast - Belle - Tango

Snow White - Someday My Prince Will Come - V Waltz

Snow White - Silly Song - Polka

Hercules - Zero to Hero - Jive

Hercules - I Won't Say I'm in Love - Chacha/West Coast

Lady and the Tramp - He's a Tramp - Foxtrot

Lady and the Tramp - Bella Notte - V Waltz

Jungle Book - I Wanna Be Like You - Quickstep

Jungle Book - Bare Necessities - Quickstep

Pinocchio - Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee - Polka

Parent Trap - Let's Get Together - East Coast Swing

Aristocats - Everybody Wants to be a Cat - Foxtrot/(Quickstep)

Aristocats - Thomas O'Malley - Foxtrot

Finding Nemo - Theme - Waltz

Cinderella - So This is Love - Waltz

USER SUGGESTED:
Hunchback of Notre Dame - God Save the Outcasts - Waltz
Mulan - True to Your Heart (Credits) - ChaCha
Disneyland? - The Tiki Tiki Tiki Room - Mambo/Salsa
Tangled - When Will My Life Begin - West Coast Swing/ChaCha
Princess and the Frog - Dig a Little Deeper - Quickstep
Princess and the Frog - Almost There - East Coast Swing
Ratatouille - Le Festin - V Waltz

Oh, and the award for Most Dance-able movie goes to:
Nightmare Before Christmas
 - Jack's Obsession (Something's Up With Jack) - V Waltz
 - Oogie Boogie's Song - Foxtrot
 - What's This - Tango
 - Kindap the Sandy Claws - Tango
 - This Is Halloween - Samba
 - Jack and Sally's Song - Bolero

ALSO, TECHNICALLY, since Star Wars is now owned by Disney:
The Cantina Song - Quickstep
Imperial March - Tango
Duel of the Fates - Paso Doble
Main Theme - Tango

EDIT: See the related Judging Dance in Disney Films post!